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I’ve kind of lost myself this month. I don’t know what I’ve been doing. I’ve barely been working. I haven’t read or written. I don’t know where the time has gone this month.

Almost two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I broke up.

We were together slightly on-and-off for a little over a year, and while I’ve kept myself quite distracted, I haven’t really grieved my relationship. It was a very bittersweet ending, something I know had to happen but still hurt quite some bit. Even before that though, I gave up on myself- maybe because I felt it coming.

While my little world is generally a tell-all, I do have to save the nittier-grittier for my real diary, some things just shouldn’t be shared to all the loyal Lillytopia citizens. All this to say, May hasn’t been a great month for me.

I haven’t written anything because I haven’t had anything to say. My mind has been a Lazy Susan with my ex (oof), being busy, not working, and doing nothing all spinning around on top of the table.

I still don’t have really much to say. But this week I’m determined to get myself back on track a little. I have a great day planned with my friends tomorrow, and almost a full work schedule. I have a lot to look forward to in June, and I want to feel my best for it, my favorite month. I don’t have anything to write about, but at least I’m writing something. Sometimes that’s when you need to write the most.

I have so many things to be grateful for. I’m so especially grateful for the relationship I had and the guy I had it with. I think it might be time for me to start grieving. And maybe I’ll pick up a book too.

From, Willianny